I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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