And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
