So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
