I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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