i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
