I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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