I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
No I am not eating basil off your cock
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hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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