Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
