apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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