was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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