Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
