her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
