I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
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I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
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I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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