You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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