Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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