Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
there's paper in my vomit.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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