it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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