you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
