it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
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He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
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Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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