My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize