Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i came on her dog
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
