So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
