I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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