I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
