when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
