Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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