Your mouth is God's brothel.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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