she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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