Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
