How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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