My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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