Buhtt sex?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
