why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize