I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
