he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
