I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
