He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
