He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
