Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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