P.S. I can't hear my feet
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
