Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
