She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
porn star boner night. come get it.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize