the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
