were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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