I can't breathe out the right side of my face
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
