Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
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