I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
