CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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