woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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