could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
