Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
