I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
