I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
