I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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