So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize