Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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