I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
