dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
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I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i think i just lost a toe
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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