dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
