She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
