i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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