I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize