Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
