I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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